Dealing with Disappointment

Disappointment is par for the course when you live with chronic illness. And some days, it doesn’t take much. You can’t meet that favorite friend for lunch because you’re flaring…again.   You have zero energy on the one day you promised to take the kids to the zoo.  You and your spouse can’t seem to connect…

Why Friendships are Important to Your Marriage

Last week, my friend Jenn came into town for a visit.  She and her family moved out to Denver almost two years ago and I still miss her terribly.  We had a great time catching up and talked for hours on end. What I love most about Jenn are her gifts – encouragement, wisdom, vulnerability,…

Why Some Men Stay

Why is it some men choose to stay married when their wives become ill while others leave? Researchers already know that the divorce rate spikes among older couples if the wife becomes sick.   For older married heterosexual couples, the risk of divorce increases when the wife becomes seriously ill but such is not the case…

Wrestling with Control

I have a love/hate relationship with control.  Maybe you do too? When we live with chronic illness, so much happens outside of our control.  It feels satisfying to be able to direct the behavior of people or circumstances for a change.  We welcome the power that comes from control and believe that just maybe, we’re…

Time to See a Counselor?

If we’re completely honest, most of us would admit to some rather dark seasons in our marriage. Maybe it was during your first year when idealistic expectations of each other created a mountain of frustration. Perhaps it was when the diagnosis came and neither of you had any idea how to tackle living with chronic…

How You Respond Makes All the Difference

Words have great power. They can be used to build up or tear down. Sadly, many of us take aim and fire our most hurtful words at the person we’re supposed to love the most – our spouse. Yes, living with chronic illness can be extremely difficult.  You might even feel justified in taking your…